I do realize I really risk becoming the target of indignation of the fair sex, but I do have to state a certain fact once again. Unlike us men, women all too often really do not know what they actually want. 

Saying this does not imply any machismo. On the contrary, women are quite predictable and consistent in their overall desires. As to the natural desire to have everything at once, and all the best at that, is no less characteristic of men as well.

Case in point: When pondering over what will be the best choice for tonight’s party (this dress or that nice blouse with a skirt? an Italian restaurant or a karaoke bar? a red matte lipstick or a pink shiny one?), women are prone to getting involved in making the critical decision so deeply that they will sure need our help to get out from there.

Now, if they were not that hesitant in their nature, there would be no opportunity for us men to demonstrate our confidence and patience. That is why we love them.

Be careful though, things are not so straightforward as they may seem at first glance. Even if our fair ladies may not know exactly what they do want, they certainly do know for sure what things they do NOT want. In this regard, their ‘signal system’ works nearly instinctively and almost never fails.

So here are just five inexcusable faults women will instantly spot in a man, putting at risk all your plans for a promising relationship. 

Bad Table Manners

Even if you failed to don your jacket over her shoulders on a cool evening, or were a bit slow to open the restaurant door for her, it might be a red flag already, but not yet fatal. There are things worse than that.

Once you go about munching and slurping and grunting from pleasure when eating, her mind will instantly spring up with the same picture in the presence of her friends or parents (which she did intend in any case). In fact, we are fortunate not to be living some time in 900s, and nowadays you can see most of the formalities at table only in the cinema or at diplomatic receptions. Still, some guidelines are worth observing. You must not chew with your mouth wide open while laughing out loud. Do not put your elbows on the table or lean your head on your hands; as if you had no spine—or were terribly bored. And finally, the fork belongs in your left hand and the knife in the right. 

This will be enough to relieve your lady of any worries on how you will look to her friends and family. Also, you think you are just eating, but in fact, you are stealthily undergoing a full-fledged compatibility test, with your lady making her judgment as to how neat you are and reliable overall. Now then, bon appetite! 

Degrading Jokes and Comments

I am no supporter or feminism, or of male supremacy for that matter. And I do believe men and women are different in nature. Each sex has its own advantages and disadvantages, and the corresponding skills that are most developed. In fact, this is what makes the beautiful harmony of our relationships. The very opportunity to complement, not duplicate, each other is the real treasure of every couple. 

However, our differences are no reason for constantly making inappropriate jokes and comments on this. Going further, even if you just intended to make fun without any implication, making indecent and degrading jokes about women is about one of the most unattractive acts on part of a man.

This kind of behavior rather testifies to strong sex being weak in this particular case. Conversely, only really self-confident gentlemen can venture to put on a kitchen apron to do cooking, or to arm themselves with a vacuum cleaner to win the battle for cleanliness.

In short, if you really intend to look like a macho, afford women your respect and support.

Egotism and Selfishness

They say jokingly that when God was endowing people with wit, he did so “with the utmost fairness”. (One quoting this always implies that one was granted plenty.) To rephrase it, one can say that if you believe yourself to be outstandingly charming and charismatic, you are likely not. 

More than once have I seen young men who would begin fidgeting nervously in the first minutes of a date, but doing their best to look interested, frowning their eyebrows and nodding their heads with an air of thoughtfulness. Then, once their partner is careless enough to stop speaking for a moment in order to try a piece of cake, the young man would grasp the initiative with his hands, or rather with his mouth, the rest of the date turning into a one-man show engaged in an endless soliloquy about himself. Enlightening and informative as this speech may be, but to one extent only—the unhappy girl will learn the only fact worth knowing out of all this, and justified it will be: you have so much love for yourself that none may be left for her. 

So, before going on a date, think twice if you really need someone else, aside from your image in the mirror. If you decide you do, remember what they say, “Speech is silver, silence is golden.”

Excessive Self-Confidence

Okay, so you are not selfishness incarnate in love with yourself, but a confident gentleman, as true as they come. Great! 

It is no mystery to you and me that girls do like confident men. Do not mistake, though, your confidence for aggressive arrogance. True, the threshold is subtle, and only a real gentleman is able to perceive it—and observe it. So, if your vocabulary is fraught with phrases like, “I know better what to do”, “This is for your own sake”, and “Keep your opinion to yourself”, then know that you have successfully made it beyond the border between healthy confidence about one’s words and acts, and an overly confident impudence. You would not like that attitude towards yourself either. So do not expect much understanding from your lady. 

Overly Indecisive

Being modest is a virtue for young girls, and certainly not a dress for you to try on. True, women tend to be fond of polite and tactful men, but they do expect you to take more decisive actions at a certain point in time.

Your languid gaze full of tenderness and your endless reciting of sentimental verses may cause her to react quite differently. Do not be surprised if your beloved suddenly appears scattered and impatient. Perhaps it was just now that she has faced all her unhappy future to come: a life replete with these exquisite poetic comparisons but deprived of any meaningful acts on your part.

Once she starts to sense this coming, she will have little choice but to escape from your paradise of romance and poetry.

And if you really care for this girl, then here is my advice: you will not so much regret things you have done than those you have not. So be confident, do what you should, and do it properly. After all, you do not risk that much. If you are lucky, you are rewarded. If not, a couple of polite apologies will fix it. The sky will not crumble on you for sure. (Or, are we sure about it? . . .)