You didn’t ask for my opinion, but I’ll still share it. I favor beard and even respect it, but not on my face. And not on my friend’s face. And not on my close acquaintances’ faces.

Recently I basically tend to think that a beard should be a package deal either with a powerful mind, as in the Karl Marx’s case, or with Santa’s costume bundled with a staff. Notably, the staff should not be an ordinary forest crook, but a real magic gadget that can work wonders. In any other case, having a beard becomes groundless.

Of course, there are gentlemen and even their faithful companions ready to have a lengthy discussion and come up with plenty of killers of an argument in favor of wearing this prehistoric artifact, but I will respectfully escape the dispute. After all, this is just my personal preference, and I see no compelling reason to follow it unconditionally.

So, let’s leave aside our disagreements about the very appropriateness of wearing a beard and move on to the best way to get rid of it, if you accept my opinion.

Every morning, immediately after waking up, the gentleman faces a tough choice: to get up at once or to have a nap, scrambled eggs with bacon or omelet with ham, and, finally, dry shaving with an electric razor or wet shaving in accordance with all rules and rituals.

No doubt, shaving with an electric razor has its benefits – rapidity, first of all. This can be justified in a situation where the world is going to hell, and you are the only person able to save it. Here and now. Well, this is something you can’t do unshaven?!

In all other cases, the gentleman will prefer a deliberate and sufficiently exciting ritual using a blade and a few secret techniques.

Well then…

Shaving, like any matter of moment, requires careful preparation.

First of all, do not rush to grab the razor. I understand that you literally can’t wait to feel this brutal tool in your hands, but the ritual is a ritual, it requires strict adherence to each stage, and in your own interests.

First, you should wash your face thoroughly with warm water to clean the pores. In addition, it will soften the skin and make further shaving more comfortable. In the past, in order to be best prepared, a gentleman had only a hot, damp towel at his disposal.

But you and I live in an era of global innovations and along with space Internet we can quite afford to use a special face scrub. It helps to remove the deadly skin cells easily and lift the hairs, which guarantees us a perfect result.

You can find such a miracle elixir in the product line of almost any reputable grooming brand. As for me, I use Acqua di Parma scrub.

And only now, when your skin is clean and tender, like a baby face, it’s time to start the main procedure.

Soap Opera with a Happy Ending

I understand you’ve waited for too long, and therefore are determined to finally take a razor in your hand, but in order to make the blade slide easier and the shaving result perfect, we still need to go through another preparatory stage. And, believe me, it will not disappoint you. But only if you take my advice.

This is, of course, about soaping your face. If you want my humble opinion, this is the most spectacular and most hedonistic part of the whole process. And this is the very case when the process is more important than the result. For this simple reason, I would not recommend you to use spray foam or shaving gel thriving the supermarkets. Yes, that’s handy. Yes, that’s fast. But that’s a bit trite, my friends. And that’s like trading a pleasant and leisurely dinner at a good restaurant for a quick bite to eat at a fast-food café. A real gentleman is conservative in his habits, especially if they bring pleasure.

Soap and only soap, in an old-school wooden soap dish. And a traditional shaving brush of badger fur. I prefer to use Floris London # 89 shaving soap. Founded in 1730 in the St. James area, this historic brand is still located at 89 Jermyn Street, hence the name of the product line ‘89’, the most popular collection. And, if my recommendation is not enough for you, the choice of this brand by Winston Churchill and James Bond should finally dispel your doubts.

So, the act of magic to transform a sleepy and slightly “crumpled” man into a cheerful and perfectly shaven gentleman begins …

You take a shaving brush in your right hand, moisten it in warm water and slowly, like an artist imagining and comprehending a future picture, you begin to foam soap in a wooden or metal bowl. At this moment you are not here, you are somewhere far away, perhaps at the very top of the divine Olympus, from where you proudly and graciously watch the entire human world with its vanity and minor problems.

Then, when the brush is sufficiently soaped, you begin safely and decisively to apply thick strokes to the canvas (that is to say, your own face). With each new stroke, your face becomes more and more transformed until it finally takes on the appearance of absolute harmony of all the funniest and most courageous. At this very moment, while the foam is fluffy enough, you put the brush aside and grab the razor. In my case, this is the Acqua di Parma machine, which fits perfectly with Gillette replacement blades and has a weighted shaft, which gives the hand enough confidence. Now is the time to recall the famous phrase of the genius Michelangelo: “I just take a stone and cut off all that is unnecessary”. It couldn’t be better …

We have no choice but to trust the experience of the great master. Besides, having prepared skin, good soap and a sharp blade is not particularly difficult.

Just a few minutes of masterly shaving in different directions, with regular wetting of the blade in hot water (for cleansing and smoother glide) and the result, as they say, is seen on your face!

Fresh Solution

Now that we’ve finally finished all these hot water and razor-sharp treatments, we just need to restore the skin’s moisture balance and pH level.

To begin with, I recommend rinsing your face with cold water – in any case, this should wake you up completely. Then you can apply any of available after-shave products. It can be a moisturizing balm or a lotion.

Modern balms protect the skin very well from irritation and moisturize it perfectly. But I prefer the old-school alcohol-based lotions. Their harsh temper and vintage scent remind me of the times when gentlemen felt it their duty to open the door for a lady and give her place at the right moment, without fear of being accused of sexism.

In my bathroom cabinet, there are three representatives of this glorious cohort, which I use alternately depending on the mood and weather outside the window. These are citrus Acqua di Parma, woody vintage Floris London # 89 and Penhaligon’s Blenheim Bouquet tonic. In any case, no matter what product you use, pour some of the bottle contents into the palm of your hand and pat yourself on the cheeks encouragingly. You deserve it!

Now you can safely and straightforwardly look not only into the future, but also into your own reflection in the mirror. And you must admit that you have not met such a fresh, cheerful and perfectly shaven gentleman since the last morning! Have you?